Pen Name or Anonymous: anonymous
Age & Location: 19, Illinois, USA

I did fine in school. Not failing. Not struggling. Everything looked okay on the surface. I still felt behind in ways I couldn’t really explain.

Other people seemed to have things I didn’t, like money, confidence, a personality people paid attention to, etc. I kept telling myself I was supposed to feel better because my grades were “good,” but that didn’t really work. It just made me feel worse for feeling bad in the first place.

At some point, I stopped trying to measure myself the same way everyone else was. Not all at once. Just slowly. I started putting more time into things I actually liked doing even if they didn’t mean anything to anyone else. Stuff I didn’t need to be good at right away and that I could get better at quietly. When I was focused on that, the comparisons didn’t matter as much. I wasn’t thinking about who was ahead of me or what I should’ve been. I was just doing something and getting a little better at it over time.

I still have insecurities, that part didn’t disappear. But now, when I feel stuck or unsure, I have something that feels like mine. And that’s usually enough to get me through the day.

If you are in a similar situation:
Find one thing that feels like yours. It doesn’t have to impress anyone but let it be enough for you.

A story about insecurity, comparison, and choosing your own pace.