Pen Name or Anonymous: anonymous
Age & Location: 18, Toronto, Canada

I don’t really know if things are better now, or if I’m just handling them differently. There wasn’t a moment where I decided to change or felt like something clicked. I just remember being exhausted by my own thoughts and how constant they were.

My brain always seems to jump to the worst explanation. If a day goes fine, it tells me it doesn’t count. If something goes wrong, it feels like proof that I’m stuck like this. I tried pushing back on those thoughts for a while, but that mostly just made me more tired, so I stopped doing that. At some point, I started letting myself do whatever felt manageable that day. Sometimes that meant staying home longer than planned. Sometimes it meant going out with no real reason. I didn’t feel better doing these things, but I felt less trapped, which was something.

I also noticed that when I wasn’t so focused on myself, things felt quieter. Helping out, doing small things for people, or just listening gave my brain a break. It didn’t fix anything. It just made the day feel a little easier to get through.

I still have rough days, and some days I don’t. I’m not sure if that’s progress or not. I’m just taking things as they come and seeing what happens.

This story talks honestly about feeling behind, insecure, and unsure, even when things looked fine from the outside.